Friday, April 12, 2019

Good afternoon. Well, it’s happy hour and just Belize, Robbie and I are on the front porch. Poor Mark has overworked himself, but finished all he wanted to get done in the attic. He even tidied up and put the tools away. What a great guy. He’s now watching golf, drinking a beer and sitting with ice on his back!

Rick M shared the funniest joke in awhile. Hope y’all get a belly laugh ...

A young cowboy sitting in a saloon one Saturday nightrecognized an elderly man standing at the bar who, in his day, had been the fastest gun in the West.

The cowboy took a place next to the old-timer, bought him a drink and told him of his great ambition to be a great shot...

' Could you  give me some tips?' he asked.

The old man  said, 'Well, for one thing, you're wearing your gun too high -  tie the holster a little lower down on your leg.'

'Will that make me a better gunfighter?'

'Sure will '
The young man did as he was told, stood up, whipped out his .44 and shot the bow tie off the piano player.

'That's terrific!' said the cowboy .  'Got any more tips ?'

'Yep,' said the old man.  'Cut a notch out of your holster where the hammer hits it -  that'll give you a smoother draw'

'Will that make me a better gunfighter?' asked the young man.

'You bet it will,' said the old-timer.

The young man took out his knife, cut the notch, stood up, drew his gun in a blur, and then shot a cufflink off the piano player.

'Wow!' exclaimed the cowboy 'I'm learnin' somethin' here.  Got any more tips?'

The old man pointed to a large can in a corner of the saloon.  'See that axle grease over there?  Coat your gun with it.'

The young man smeared some of the grease on the barrel of his gun.

'No,' said the old-timer, 'I mean smear it all over the gun, handle and all.'  'Will that make me a better gunfighter?' asked the young man.

'No,' said the old-timer, 'but when Wyatt Earp gets done playing the piano, he's gonna shove that gun up your ass, and it won't hurt as much.

Bwahahaha ... I had such a laugh! Thanks Rick! 🤠

So this afternoon I had a roofing company come by and give us a quote. It was one of those high-pressure sales jobs, and I suspect that is what gave Mark the backache! “Rob” came in with a smile as wide as Texas. He attempted some small talk, but I knew the routine and sidestepped it. Then, he pulled out the binder ... we were in for a “company presentation.” Meanwhile, Mark is thinking “just give us the goddamn price already.” 😜 Next, the salesman pulled out the samples. I was on unimpressed with the color choice, but that was neither here nor there. It was about an hour later we finally got to the price, $20,500 for our roof including some sort of rubber business overlay on the Sunroom. My exact words to him were “Rob, you’re not in the ballpark; you’re eating a hotdog outside the stadium.” (I love my humor!) So, he immediately picked up the phone to his boss to get instructions on how to close the deal. 10 minutes later, he tripped over his shingle samples on the way out the door. 🤣 Mark was too polite to say anything, but I wasn’t. Anyway, the next victim comes on Tuesday to give us a quote!